


Oy Vey (Forever Is Only a Drunk Dial Away Remix)

by sebastian2017



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Jewish Character, M/M, Making Up, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-06-26 17:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19772902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebastian2017/pseuds/sebastian2017
Summary: “You thought I was dating Erik? Of all people? Erik? Charles, please, I have standards.”





	Oy Vey (Forever Is Only a Drunk Dial Away Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Forever is Only a Drunk Dial Away](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13033416) by [bettysofia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bettysofia/pseuds/bettysofia). 
  * In response to a prompt by [bettysofia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bettysofia/pseuds/bettysofia) in the [xmen_remix_madness2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/xmen_remix_madness2019) collection. 



> CW: mentions of sex and food

Death by sex. It’s the best way to go, Erik has no doubt about it. He’s not sure if it’s technically possible to die from excessive sex, but if they’ll ever find out, it’ll be now that he and Charles are in the midst of their make up sex. Erik’s pleasantly surprised at how many times they can go at it while pausing only for food, water, and brief naps. He feels like he’s twenty again. In a perfect world, Erik would continue this fun little experiment until either of them has to go into work or until their dicks fall off. 

They’re not in a perfect world, unfortunately. They’re in a world where less than twenty-four hours ago, Erik had been heartbroken and making plans after plans with Magda in an effort to stave off the sadness. In his haste to answer Charles’ drunken booty call, it seems Erik had forgotten to text Magda and cancel their plans to meet up for coffee and pastries in the afternoon. Erik’s in the middle of enjoying an absolutely fantastic blowjob when his phone starts receiving an incessant number of calls that he simply can’t ignore any longer. 

Erik groans, annoyed, and reaches down to ease Charles off him. “Sorry, let me just check who keeps on calling.”

“Someone more important than me sucking your brains out through your cock?” Charles asks, pouting up at him. 

“We’ll get right back to that,” Erik promises. He means it, too, but once he checks his phone, he realizes it might be a bit more delayed than expected. “Fuck. It’s Magda. We had plans together.”

“What? When?” he asks, sitting up. 

“Um...” Erik checks the time and winces. “About fifteen minutes ago.” 

“I see the problem.” 

As much as Erik wants to just ignore all the messages and go back to Charles, Magda had been an absolute angel in helping him get through his heartbreak. It doesn’t feel right to blow her off. So despite everything in him telling him to pretend he’s seen nothing and go back to having sex with Charles, he gathers up every ounce of will power and gets up to get dressed again. He sends Magda a message to let her know what’s changed overnight and they go off to meet Magda at the cafe, even if they are a bit late. 

\-----------

“You thought I was dating Erik? Of all people?  _ Erik?  _ Charles, please, I have standards.” 

Magda’s laughed so much at their expense that Erik feels rather confident saying he’s been forgiven for forgetting about their coffee date. If she does try to hold it against him, Erik will just remind her about the five minutes straight she’d spent laughing at them when Charles explained the misunderstanding that had led them to this situation in the first place. Erik’s embarrassed, but not as much as Charles is, judging from how red his face is. 

“I’d love to see the men you’re pulling if Erik is below your standards,” Charles mumbles. 

Magda laughs. “I look at Erik and I can’t see anything except an awkward thirteen year old at his Bar Mitzvah. I’m sure you look at him and see a nice set of abs and pecs.” 

“Nice enough to think he was helping me cheat,” Erik chimes in. He’s probably far prouder of that than he should be, but oh well. It hadn’t actually been cheating. No harm done, thankfully. 

“I wasn’t in the right state of mind. My judgement was impaired,” Charles insists, sighing. “Can we please never talk about this again?” 

“Charles, if you think this isn’t going to be brought up at every Passover Seder until the end of time you are sorely mistaken.” Magda laughs and Erik is all too aware of how truthful that statement is. Magda is absolutely ruthless and his family is all too happy to encourage it. 

Charles groans softly and hides his face in his hands. “I’m really fucked now, aren’t I?” 

“This is around the time our people would say ‘oy vey’, love. Might as well start learning if you’ll ever survive a seder roast session.” 

“Oy vey.” 

**Author's Note:**

> for questions, prompts, or chatting I can be found on tumblr at [sebbym17](http://sebbym17.tumblr.com/)


End file.
